


Dibs on Sunglasses

by SalazarTipton



Category: Criminal Minds, X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: Dialogue Heavy, Drinking, F/M, M/M, One Night Stands, Spencer is a mutant, Wedding, Will's Past
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-16
Updated: 2015-10-16
Packaged: 2018-04-26 16:24:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,273
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5011588
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SalazarTipton/pseuds/SalazarTipton
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>With how busy everyone was planning JJ and Will's wedding without JJ finding out it's a miracle they put it all together so quickly. Thankfully amongst all the chaos, someone remembered that maybe Will should have some people there for him. It was his day as well, after all. Though nobody thought to warn them about who exactly Will's childhood friends were (and how hot they are). Who knew Cajun accents could be so...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dibs on Sunglasses

After her whole family being put into danger, JJ had finally said yes to Will. She was finally ready to marry him, and she didn’t want to wait. She wanted them to walk into the courthouse and sign the papers as soon as possible which Will agreed to to her face, but he had some ideas up his sleeve. With the help of David Rossi, he was able to bring them to life.

JJ, Will, and Henry were due to arrive in two hours and barely any of the decorations were in place. Thankfully, Rossi had hired an impressive team that were known for working under pressure (whatever that meant, Reid didn’t want to know), but there were still some little things the team was helping with like the table setting and wine. Reid was working on opening a bottle of red when the doorbell rang. Seeing as everyone else was out back, he headed to the front door to get it.

“ _Bonjour_ ,” a very put together man with long auburn hair and sunglasses who seemed lightly taller than him said when Reid opened the door. Standing beside him was a man in a similar suit, but had a white shirt rather than a silky red one under his vest. “From de look on your face it seems y’ weren’t told—“

“Oh, you must be Will’s friends!” Reid spluttered out quickly. _Real smooth, dumbass._ He gestured for them to come in. “I’m Spencer.” He waved with the hand that wasn’t holding onto the wine.

“Remy,” the sunglasses man told him. “And dis is _mon frère_ , Henri.”

“ _Bonjour_.” Henri gave a bow of his head.

“Good to meet you. Everybody is out back.” Reid scuttled back into the kitchen. _Why did Will never tell me he had hot friends with great accents?_ He looked back at them before gesturing out the French doors to the back yard. “That man by the trellis is David Rossi. This is his place. He’ll be able to tell you if we need any more help before they get here.”

“ _Merci, cher_ ,” Remy said with a full, slow nod of his head like he was giving him elevator eyes before following his brother outside.

Garcia walked in right after they reached Rossi to see Spencer almost blind himself trying to open the wine. He rubbed where he punched his cheek.

“187, your brains are the best but your coordination? No so much,” she sighed with a smile. He laughed at the comment.

“I think you might be right on that one. Just tell me I didn’t bruise my face right after I find the hottest guy on the planet,” he grumbled.

“You’ll be fine, and if not, I have tons of concealer.” She tapped her green bag sitting on the counter. “So, who are those guys? And are you right about the hottest level! I mean, Derek is in a league of his own so comparing anyone to him is pointless, but _damn_ are those men delectable!”

“Those two would happen to be Will’s childhood friends, Remy and Henri. I’ve heard Will talk about them here and there, but he left out the hot accents and physique. And before you say anything, I call dibs on Remy!”

“Which one is he?”

“Sunglasses,” Reid said, glancing out the window at him. Garcia let out a huff.

“You are always calling dibs on the best ones, but never following through which totally isn’t fair! Like that guy at Champions last month, I would have hit that so hard, but you called dibs and then left early!” Reid rolled his eyes as he took the cork off the corkscrew. “So, can we make a deal that if an hour into the reception, if he isn’t on you I get a shot?”

“Deal, but I wouldn’t hold your breath on that one,” Reid said gesturing out the window. The two Cajuns were setting one of the tables. Remy was smiling and talking with Henri, but his eyes were on Spencer—at least that’s what it felt like since it’s hard to tell with sunglasses.

“Who wears sunglasses at night?” She muttered as she went to go finish what Rossi had sent her in to do.

After an hour of setup, everything was ready: the tables were set, the chairs in place, the bar fully stocked, the archway adorned with flowers and frills, the garden lights properly placed. The team Rossi hired had kicked them all out of the kitchen so they could get started on the dinners, so Reid (and the bottle of red) joined everyone out back. Everyone poured themselves a glass and mingled. Spencer was standing near the bar watching Hotch and Emily talk. _That seems pretty serious_ , he thought to himself. _I wonder if she’s decided to leave._ He was broken out of his head when someone leaned against the bar next to him. It was Remy.

Throughout the setup, Remy had taken off his long jacket. His silk shirt was clinging in some places to clearly definable arm muscle and there were enough buttons undone that at an angle, Spencer could clearly see his neckline flow into his collarbone. He smiled at Spencer’s clear appreciation of him.

“Y’ like somet’ing y’ see?” Remy took a sip of his wine after he spoke, but Spencer could feel him watching the blush rise from his neck to his cheeks.

“Hmm?” Spencer managed to say before taking a sip himself, giving him time to remember how to flirt. _This is flirting, right?_

“Remy can see y’ eyeing m’. Y’ aren’t too good at ‘iding does stares,” Remy said. He slid a step closer to Spencer.

“I’ve never been very good at subtly,” Spencer muttered into his drink, giving Remy a side glance. He felt a sense of calm waft over him and watched as Remy removed his sunglasses. He kept his eyes down for a moment until slowly trailing them up, up, and up Spencer until meeting his eyes. Spencer let a ragged breath in when he saw Remy’s red and black eyes.

“Before y’ get into anyt’ing y’ ought to know just what y’r doing, _non_?” Remy said in a low whisper. Spencer’s tongue darted out to wet his lips before responding.

“A-and what is it you think I’m getting myself into?” Spencer asked in the same tone. He looked over to Rossi and Morgan who were talking by the chairs. He closed his eyes for a moment before sending the tiniest wave of wanting over Remy. He heard Remy hum appreciatively and let out a low laugh.

“Well dat makes t’ings much more interesting,” Remy said. He took another sip of his wine. Spencer quickly changed the subject as he watched Morgan walking over to them.

“So, you’ve known Will since you were kids, right?” Spencer asked.

“ _Oui_ , all o’ us,” Remy said, gesturing to Henri—who was talking to Emily, “’ave been close for a long time. Know y’ met Will on a case, but ‘ow long ‘ave y’ known JJ?”

“Oh, don’t get him started,” Derek pleaded in a mocking tone as he reached them.

“As of today, six years, seven months, and nineteen days. I doubt you wanted the minutes and seconds, but I could provide them,” Spencer said with a smile and a look at his watch.

“Gorgeous and brilliant? No wonder JJ speaks so ‘ighly of y’,” Remy said. Spencer’s blush worsened. Remy then turned to Morgan and extended his hand. “Remy LeBeau. Will and m’ grew up together.” Morgan shook his hand.

“I’m Derek, Derek Morgan. I work with JJ and Spencer here,” Derek said. It seemed that Morgan finally noticed Remy’s eyes when they let go of their hands. He recovered his jolt by elbowing Spencer in the side with a wicked smile and raised eyebrow.

“Hey, Reid!” His head snapped up, hopeful to get away from this situation. It was Emily. “Come over here for a sec!”

 _Oh, thank God!_ He heard Morgan snickering from behind as he skittered across the lawn. _Did I say that out loud?_

After a half an hour of mingling (and trying to look interested about what JJ’s mom was telling them), everyone gathered around the French doors when they heard the doorbell ring. Rossi went to go open it.

“How do you think she’s going to react?” Morgan asked.

“Won’t cry, but it’ll be close,” Emily responded.

“I think she’ll figure it out quickly, but won’t be close to tears,” Hotch interjected.

“Oh, you’re on!” Emily said. “20 bucks.” Hotch smiled and dig out his wallet. They both handed twenties to Derek.

“She’s coming! We better not crowd! Act like it’s nothing!” Garcia whisper-yelled at all of them. Everyone scattered away: Hotch and Beth walked over to one of the tables with Jack; Garcia, Morgan, Henri, and Emily went over to the bar; leaving Spencer and Remy beside the hedgerow near the door, but not in front of it.

“Remy’s got a feelin’ dat y’r _amies_ are tryin’ t’ set y’ up wit’ _moi_ ,” Remy laughed.

“You’ve definitely got that right. I doubt they’ll stop nagging me about everything that happens tonight for years to come.”

“And what is it y’r expecting t’ ‘appen tonight?” Remy said staring him dead in the eyes. Spencer’s blush returned as he looked down at his glass. “Alright, Remy’ll let up a little bit—just a little—and only for now. So, y’r a profiler for de FBI and y’r a doctor?”

“Well, I’m not a doctor in the medical sense. I have three PhDs: mathematics, chemistry, and engineering. Along with some bachelors. The FBI recruited me right out of school.:

“Y’ seem a bit young to ‘ave gone through dat much schoolin’ and ‘ave known JJ dat long,” Remy noted.

“With an IQ 187 it wasn’t too difficult to graduate high school by 12, so college took up my teenage years instead of my twenties, which I just left,” Spencer quickly rambled off. “I’m sorry. I’m not very good with social interaction and tend to ramble on about things. Well, anything really. Having an eidetic memory means that I know a lot of facts. The team just tells me to shut up whenever I start to ramble off some random tidbit because it’s not like anybody actually cares about stuff like the flowers that are used in modern weddings used to be garlic and herbs to ward off evil spirits and were eventually used as a symbol of fertility and oh my, please say something and make me shut up.” Remy let out a genuine laugh and grinned widely. He caressed Spencer’s face almost-scarlet cheek with the back of his hand (making Spencer’s blush worsen).

“Why would Remy want to make y’ stop rambling? It’s adorable. Besides, it helps Remy to learn a lot about y’.”

Remy looked beside them to the French doors where JJ, Will, and Henry were walking in. They watched as JJ’s mother greeted her and she learned what this get-together was really about. No tears, nowhere. Morgan handed Hotch the two twenties. JJ and her mother went back inside. Will bent down and helped Henry put on his tie and jacket.

“Excuse Remy for a moment, _cher_ ,” he said to Spencer. He let his hand fall from Spencer’s cheek and walked over to Will.

“Look at dis _couillon_ ,” Henri said just before he reached them. Will stood up with a surprised look on his face.

“Hey, Henry. Why don’t you go play with Uncle Spencer, alright?” Will said. Henry nodded and ran off. He watched him go before turning to the brothers. He opened his arms up and embraced them both at the same time. “I didn’t expect y’all to be able to come.”

“We wouldn’t miss y’r weddin’! What do y’ t’ink we are?” Remy asked as they separated. Will leaned in.

“Y’all are currently surrounded by feds and y’r buddy here is a cop,” Will slowly stated.

“Dat ain’t not’ing to worry about, Willy. Dis ‘ere is y’r day—or night rather,” Henri said. “Besides, it ain’t y’r jurisdiction no more, _homme_. But speakin’ of dat, unfortunately Papa couldn’t make it though he does send his congratulations.”

“I appreciate that. Now, before you two get carried away, this is JJ’s night. So, there won’t be any of our traditions here and I don’t wanna hear it from you two.”

When Spencer saw Henry running to him he bent down. Henry jumped at Spencer once he was close knowing he would be caught. Spencer did catch him and in a fluid motion lifted him up in the air and twirled around before setting him back on the ground.

“Hey, Henry!” Spencer waved.

“Hi, Unca Penner,” Henry whispered with a small wave in return.

“Do you know what tonight is all about?” Spencer asked. Henry nodded before digging something out of his pocket. He held out his hand to Spencer.

“Wow, Henry! You get to be the ring bearer? That’s a really big honor. Mommy and Daddy must trust you a lot to hold onto these,” Spencer said slowly in a cheerful voice.

“Daddy said it wasn’t da real ones,” Henry said very softly.

“Well, it’s still a pretty big deal.” Spencer looked over to Will and the brothers chatting.

“Can you ‘ow me a trick?” Henry asked while looking at the rings in Spencer’s hand.

“Oh, of course. Did you want to work on one we’ve done before or a new one?”

After showing him the trick a few times, Henry ran off to play with Jack promising they wouldn’t get their clothes dirty. Will called him over.

“Congratulations, Will. You finally got her to say yes,” Spencer said when he was close enough to the three men.

“Yeah, and all it took was almost dyin’,” Will said as he shook his head. “Oh, have you meet the LeBeaus yet? I know you’ve heard me talk about ‘em from time to time.”

“ _Oui_ , we’ve been chatting,” Remy said. “And what exactly ‘ave y’ told de _homme_?”

“It’s alright. I only mentioned the good stuff,” Will explained.

“And at least some of the funny stuff,” Spencer interjected. “But I’m aware I don’t know too much about you two.”

“Remy’s sure some light will be shed by de end of de night,” Remy said slowly. Will and Henri both rolled their eyes.

“Well, I’ll start with the basics. Henri is obviously the oldest,” Will said earning him a glare from Henri. “And—“

“Will, I think you’re forgetting that most of the people currently present are trained profilers,” Spencer said with a smile.

“Oh, so y’ t’ink y’ know a t’ing or two, _non_?” Henri questioned. “Den, impart y’r vast knowledge gained by dese skills on us.”

“First off, we get it. You’re the oldest, the alpha, whatever. Secondly, we know the two of you aren’t on the best terms right now. And thirdly, it seems you haven’t seen Will in quite a bit of time,” Rossi said from behind them. “Now if you’ll all please make it up towards the aisle, the bride will be down shortly.”

Henri looked miffed at what Rossi had said while Remy nodded and Will didn’t seem phased at all. Spencer laughed to himself before following Rossi towards the rest of the people.

JJ walked up the aisle with her mother by her said looking simply elegant. The ceremony was short, simple, and to the point. Some traditions were kept, but everyone standing in a semi-circle around them instead of in their respective seats gave the appearance of a far from usual wedding. When the ceremony was finished, instead of letting the new married couple through, everyone took turns giving hugs. Then they all went to the large table and sat where they pleased.

Spencer ended up sitting between Hotch and Remy which both made him glad he didn’t end up by Erin, Henri, or JJ’s mother, but at the same time put him on edge. Flirting with someone you don’t even know is one thing, but doing it next to your boss is a whole other story. Especially when said someone is incredibly open about their intentions.

Most of the adults were giving champagne, the kids and Strauss got sparking grape juice, and the toasts started. Rossi started things off—being the host that he is—and suggested instead of formal standing up and glass-raising, everyone take a turn saying a little something—keeping things in their casual, family style.

“Well, I don’t Will all that well, but I do know JJ,” Strauss said. “And JJ is one of the most passionate people I have met, both in the Bureau and out. Having seen the care you take in your work, I know that these two men,” she said motioning to Will and Henry, “are some of the luckiest there are.”

“First, these two would have broken up years ago in Florida of all places if I hadn’t have commented on how hot Will is,” Emily said.  Spencer and Morgan laughed, remembering the day. JJ put her face in her hands. “And secondly, seeing JJ this happy brings me incredible joy. I’m glad she has someone just as strong as she is and just as caring.”

“Oh, me now?” Penelope asked. “Well, I love romance and cute-gushy stuff, but I’ll spare you of that for now. Will and JJ have not only been amazing friends who are super support and loving and everything, but they also gave me the biggest honor in the world of being a godmother to the cutest the blondie in the world.”

“Will, I know you are a good man. You have integrity and courage. And JJ, you are strong and deeply loving. I wish them both for you two and your family,” Derek said.

“One of the biggest worries a mother can have is what kind of man her daughter will have,” JJ’s mother started, “and I’m so glad that all that worries can fade. Will, I know that you and JJ are meant for each other. You are each other’s halves. Thank you for giving my mind some ease. Now I’ll only have to worry about Henry,” she said with a wink to her grandson who hide is face in his napkin.

“Will is an interesting _homme_ to say de least. ‘aving known ‘im me whole life, I can say dat he will treat you like a queen, as I’m sure he already does,” Henri said to JJ. “And Will, ‘aving known y’ for all y’r life, it is still ‘ard for me to believe dat you were actually able to find someone as lovely as JJ who actually wanted y’ back. I couldn’t be ‘appier for y’ and I share dese feelin’ wit’ everyone back in N’awlins.”

“Well, I have to say that I don’t know either of you as well as everyone else here does,” Beth said. “But from the times that we have spent together—and without being a profiler—I can tell that you both love each other deeply and Henry is one of the luckiest kids around to have you two as parents.”

“Knowing both of you professionally as well as socially has given me a new appreciation,” Hotch paused for a moment, collecting his thoughts. “...a new appreciation for your character both separately and collectively. Seeing your love for one another and for your son are some of my daily reminders for why we do what we do: to protect this,” he gestured to Will and JJ and then to the whole table, “to protect family.”

“Having known you both from your first meeting, to the birth of your child, and to your wedding night, I have to say that I know you pretty well. You gave me a title as part of your family as Henry’s godfather, but you also treated me as such. We are very good friends, but JJ, you’re basically my sister. And Will, that means you’re pretty much my brother-in-law now so I’m obligated to remind you that if you hurt her your life will become a living hell that you wouldn’t be able to escape,” Spencer said. Most of the team nodded their heads with little chuckles.

“Don’t worry. If I hurt her, I deserve it,” Will responded before kissing JJ on the forehead. That earned him a collective “awwwe!”

Before starting, Remy set his sunglasses next to his plate and picked up his glass of champagne. “Dis _homme_ both kept me out o’ trouble and brought it upon me, wit’ a small amount of mutual liability mixed in. It brings me peace t’ know dat he straightened out an’ now has a beautiful family to keep ‘im in line. Not dat he needs it, but you never know what might come your way,” Remy said slowly with a look to Henri. “Y’ ‘ave a caring and compassionate _homme_ dere, JJ. He is one of de most understanding and open people I ‘ave ever met. Y’ couldn’t ask for more in a life partner.”

“To the happy couple,” Rossi said, raising his glass. Everyone chorused the line back before clinking glasses and taking a drink.

The salads and appetizers slowly trickled out from the house and were set in front of each person. Everyone ate and talked, some slipping over to the bar to get harder drinks.

“So, you’ve learned a lot about me tonight, but you haven’t told me much about yourself,” Spencer said to Remy. “Profiling is nice and all, but conversation brings a lot more to the table.”

“Well, Remy was adopted by Henri’s father at ten. Grew up in N’awlins wit’ dem. Worked for de family, got married, got divorced, and now Remy’s a teacher for a private school up in New York,” he explained between bites.

“What do you teach?”

“Well, it’s a school for gifted children so dey get some knowledge public high schools wouldn’t provide. Remy’s de art ‘istory teacher for dem.”

“You’re right. Not many kids gain that knowledge from the public system,” Spencer said.

“T’ be honest, not all m’ students gain de knowledge. De ones who are interested do, but most would rather be in gym class,” Remy said, smiling.

“Sounds like you enjoy what you do,” Spencer noted.

“I do. Sure, Remy misses de family, but like y’ said about JJ and Will: you can make y’r own family.”

Their plates were taken away and replaced with the main course. The conversation changed from person to person to the whole table telling stories about JJ and Will (with a couple about Henry) while everyone dug in.

“Now, I wanna here about this troublemaker you used to be,” JJ said to Will.

“I don’t know about that,” he said.

“Don’t worry, we’ll only tell the legal parts,” Henri joked.

“Dere were legal ones?” Remy asked with a laugh.

“Oh, now I have to hear these!” JJ said, elbowing Will.

“Let us see...dere’s always Bella Donna,” Henri said with his eyes on the table and his lips curved.

“Oh, no!” Will pleaded.

“Can’t y’ leave dat bit o’ our ‘istory be just dat: ‘istory?” Remy said with an arm extended towards Henri.

“What kind of name is Bella Donna?” Penelope asked.

“Well, it fits her very well,” Will said.

“Too well,” Remy grumbled.

“You know, that name does sound familiar from when I was with Interpol,” Emily said.

“Oh, now we have to have an explanation,” JJ said to them. “Come on, now. Who is she?”

“Let’s say dat de _femme_ ’s family were our…,” Henri trailed off, thinking.

“Business competitors?” Will suggested.

“ _Oui_ , dat works. And living in a place like de Town, all de uppers knew each other rather well. So, as teenagers, we spent a lot of time wit’ Bella Donna,” Remy said.

“And by ‘we,’ he means ‘imself and Will,” Henri corrected. “And de t’ree of dem were always into somet’ing dey shouldn’t be.”

“What’s her last name?” Penelope asked while typing on her phone.

“I don’t think you wanna do that, Pen,” Will said. “I know you’ll find her without it, but I don’t think you wanna know people like her are out there.”

“Remy agrees wit’ y’ dere.” Penelope looked between the two of them before putting away her phone, for now.

“The way your talking makes it sound like she’s someone we should be keeping an eye one,” Strauss said.

“Y’ probably ‘ave a file or two on ‘er, but not’ing to incriminate ‘er. At least not’ing dat can be used in court,” Henri said. Remy and Will both sent exacerbated looks at him. “What? Y’ know she’ll look ‘er up anyway,” Henri defended himself.

“Can we not talk about old girlfriends tonight? I’d rather focus this relationship,” Will said, clearly trying to sweep this under the rug.

“Fine, but that doesn’t get you off the hook,” JJ said. Everyone nodded, wanting to know more. Clearly the team didn’t know Will as well as they thought they did.

After everyone finished their meals, Henry made the first cut into the cake with the help of his dad holding him up and his mom helping him with the knife. When everyone got a piece, they all mingled about and ate. Eventually, most everyone made it out onto the dance floor. Will and JJ had their first dance to a slow piano medley until Henry ran up and squeezed in between them to join in. People slowly trickled on to join them: Penelope and Derek at first, and then Spencer twirled Emily onto the dance floor.

**Author's Note:**

> Part Two Coming Soon! What happens when the drinking gets heavier and the dancing gets going? Let me know what you think so far! <3


End file.
